Today, we rode bikes in Forest Park. I also finished one of those guilty pleasure books where someone's death unfolds slowly in mystery. I spent most of the day in the sun on the porch. Besides the mundane stuff, that's about it.
Sounds pretty glorious, right? Still, I'm not sure what's gotten into me really. Normally, I would accomplish a large list of things on a day like today, but something has clicked in me over that last few months. I don't work as hard. I don't try as hard.
Just typing those last two sentences still makes me cringe a bit, but I have to admit that I feel better than I have in some time. It happened first in my work. I've stopped running myself frantic, pushing five transitions on kids in one class period. Always rushing, rushing, rushing. Not a lot of joy, but certainly a lot of best practice.
After 1st semester ended, I took a hard look at my practices and made some changes. I'm still doing what's best for kids. Just not at light speed... and, somehow, I'm starting to believe it's better for all of us. Maybe it's just that the bonds are naturally better after a semester under the belt, but taking away the rush, rush has changed the atmosphere.
Then it started happening at home. Who was the rush, rush, tidy, tidy for? Certainly not my husband. Far fetched to believe it was for my dogs. Was I rush, rush, tidy, tidying for myself? How stupid is that? So I still keep a clean enough house... just not at light speed.
I don't know what sped me up for the past decade making me work at a dizzying pace, and I'm not really certain what's cued me in to take it down a notch. If the reward is a day of biking and reading at a leisurely pace, I really don't care. LOL... maybe apathy can be bliss.
I love this post. I've slowly become more relaxed this year as well. The stress level at work was out of control, so I moved districts and I'm so much happier. I don't think it's apathy (at least not the way I define it). I think of it more as self-care and a rearranging of priorities, at least for me. And if it leaves time for what we love, why go back?? Bliss, please!
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this. I need to take it down a notch, but it's so hard when everything around me is spinning. You inspire courage! BTW, I'd love a good mystery recommendation:).
ReplyDeleteYou have just given my life new purpose! I so want to adopt this attitude in a world that constantly demands light speed. I love this slice so much and am so happy that you have given yourself the permission and grace to slow down and enjoy the trip!
ReplyDeleteA 'clean enough' house and time to live life - sounds about right to me!
ReplyDeleteI used to be a rush rush, five transitions kind of person too, but now I believe in slow everything. Slow learning, slow starts, slow transitions. I am definitely much happier, and I think in general we all do better with less of a frantic pace.
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