on the 4th day, Tracy created a Haiku

I hold so much hurt
in this shell of a woman
that it spilled over

There's a Starman

Those moments that are unbelievable... they're my favorite to remember.

The night David Bowie died, my husband was in the living room playing video games along with random music.  I was in the connected library, snuggled up with a book or something.  Starman came on, and I cried (for no particular reason but the beauty of it and possibly the few drinks I had in me, which isn't an abnormal behavior -- the drinks or the crying over the beauty of things).

The following morning, we heard of Bowie's passing, and I couldn't help but wonder if I was crying the moment he died.  It's stuck with me for some time now.

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We moved recently.  One of my new favorite routines is to walk in the door, pick out a record, blast it, and prepare dinner while I have the house to myself.  There's something about listening to an entire album these days.  Especially in a new space that you love.

Came home today searching for Bowie and couldn't find it!  Settled for Tame Impala and cooked up some basil curry.

As the night ticks on and I sit to write this post, I'm tickled to say I found Bowie...

My niece is over to work on an art project.  I said, "Put on a record while I type out this blog."  She replied, "I don't know how."  To my delight, I spotted a spine with Bowie and threw it on.  "Look, you just plop it on and push the start button."  I didn't even pay attention to the tracks, and there it was.  Starman.  Full of fond memories for that man I love and helping make new ones.

Life is grand.

My Sub Note

I went to Write to Learn last week. 
Excited to attend a good conference. 
I read presenter notes, learned new tips and techniques.
It's what keeps me going year after year.

I went to work early this morning. 
Excited to set up for Read Across America day.
I read the substitute note, learned she never wanted to return.
It's what makes me question day after day.

I sometimes think teaching is an impossible job.
... and I don't have a stanza for it

Commitment on a Sunday

Suddenly, I'm overwhelmed with making this one.
Understanding that by the end of the challenge I'll be delighted with the month of writing though
Never really knowing where my writing will lead is already kind of exciting
Deciding maybe I'm not overwhelmed as I write this
Actually, I'm pretty stoked about this commitment
Yep... writing is a good activity for sorting out my feels

Epiphanies Over Laundry

You can tell a lot about your week as you put away laundry. 

Did I come home every day and put on sweatpants?  Did I don educational t-shirts all week at work or do I have a pile of ironing to do alongside my sorting?  Did I bother to get up and work out in the AM?   Was the weather warm enough for even one pair of shorts?  All of the answers are there in the pile.

As I folded today and thought about how I would finish up this Slice of Life Challenge, the thing that kept coming back to me is the amazing amount of choices I've thought about this month.

I guess it started with just choosing what to write about each day.  Nearly every day seemed to point out the enormous amount of choices I make each day and just how much that influences who I am.  I've also listened to and watched stories about nature vs. nurture in the past week.  (funny how when you have a writing project, your brain always seems to be working in the background to bring meaning to things and weaving items together)

Honestly, the idea that I could be pre-destined to be anything--considering the amount of choices I make each day--seems a bit ludicrous to me.   I spoke about this earlier in the month, about how I had been feeling overwhelmed because I 'had to' choose to do so many certain things in order to keep myself a 'happy' human being.  For some reason, this morning, that idea seems ludicrous also.  Life is nothing but choices.  Why wouldn't I choose the things that make me feel good?  Life wasn't forcing me to make choices.  Life is choices.

More and more, I realize how important it is to choose how I spend my time wisely.  It's so limited.  I'm glad I spent this month writing. 

I Went to a Wedding

This Saturday is full of some boring stuff.  Rain, laundry, dishes, vacuuming, changing sheets, meal planning, cleaning toilets, fresh towels... you get the idea.  Then, I drove an hour in the rain there, and  an hour in the rain back home to sit here and type this blog before leaving for the reception.

I sat in the most gorgeous green house among friends and saw one of the most uplifting weddings of my life.  I laughed.  I cried.  They're one of those couples you know will make the universe better by being together.

Just a thought on how strange a day can be when you see it from the perspective of others.  My morning cleaning toilets, etc. was her morning getting her hair done, having pictures, spending time with her favorite people on earth. 

A day is a day... interesting all of the ways we can choose to spend it.

Forecasts

Fridays are different.

I woke up, hit the snooze, and stayed in bed staring at the magic that is my phone.  One of the browse-able sites to start the day is weather.

10 day forecast included 9 full days of rain, number one being today--a death sentence to my spunkier side.

A Friday full of rain is still a Friday, so I get up and plan to rearrange a day full of outdoor evening plans without messing up my mojo.  Know what?  The rain held.  I got to stand in a line outdoors with my BFF for the best Mexican Fish Fry in StL.  I rode around with the windows open with no jacket needed.  I took a walk.  I burnt some shit in the fire pit when I got home.

No mojo mess up needed.  I think it is a lesson I fail to learn that I must be reminded of again and again and again.  Live in the moment, dummy.

Forecasts are stupid.